You’re a loyal person. You value the people in your life and you care about others deeply.  That’s great.  What’s not so great is that not everyone in this world is like you, and unfortunately that means some black eyes for you.  At times friendships will seem brutal and heartbreaking and it will be tempting to throw in the towel.

There’s a vicious cycle in our society that looks like this:

It makes sense.  How much heartbreak can a person take before they can’t say that it’s worth it to put their heart out there anymore?  There’s a point where risk vs reward just doesn’t make sense any more.  So what happens when you reach that point?

I have found that the most irrational thoughts come at times when you’re the lowest.  Those thoughts do not truly define you and your intentions.  They have more to do with the process of working through the emotions associated with the situation.  Let yourself walk through them, as ugly as they may be.  I believe the people that don’t deal with those emotions are the ones who linger in the mess the longest.  When I identify one of these lingering people, I run because it normally ends with me being the one who pays for their lack of courage.  The saying I believe to be true is

This process can be exhausting and depressing so follow it up with a little extra care. Find the simple things that matter the most to you and surround yourself with the small inner circle that you have no doubt cares about you.  It’s okay to shut out the faces that you’re not 100% sure of for a while. Protect yourself.  You’re worth it and the advice I try to follow is out of Proverbs that says,

“Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

The most important thing you can do is to keep yourself open to new people. Friends are such a gift.  Having people in your life that can encourage, push and pull you back equals

The most powerful decision you can make is to opt out of the cycle. Be a person that becomes better from the bumps in the road, instead of just another bitter person.  Smile in the face of those who have hurt you because you realize how much wisdom you learned from that person.  Never, ever let those types of people define you.  Coming from someone who values friendship, I hope you will hang on to the original authenticity of your character you were created to have and to gift the world.

Have courage friend, stay in the fight.

 

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